My Dream House is 700 Square feet

My dream house is 700 square feet. Yep, you read that right. Even typing it feels weird. For so long I have struggled with something I thought I was completely justified in. The desire for more. The “need” for more space.

Let me take you back 12 years ago… This little house pictured here was just what we wanted. It got us out of our rental house we had been in for two years after getting married. The huge backyard smelled of apple trees and blossoms. It would be something we owned all on our own. We would have a space to call ours. It needed some work, but it was the perfect starter house for us.

Starter. House.

Those words hung on my lips for so many years. I had lots of fun decorating, updating, and pinteresting my own space. Yet in the back of my mind I knew this house was just a stepping stone to my “bigger and better” home. Everything was “fine” for now, but eventually we would move and start a family and live happily ever after in our dream house! (See my Pinterest board titled just that)

When we realized we wanted to start a family four years into our starter house, I said “that’s fine, we have two bedrooms so one can be the babies and we will move as soon as possible.” One baby girl came and our little family remained in our starter house. After realizing we weren’t going to be able to move any time soon and knowing I wanted more kids, we decided to expand our family again. We updated the house cosmetically again. (Cause I like to do renovations when I’m pregnant so I get out of work 😜 ) And still in the back of my mind I thought “we are fixing it up to sell”. “We will finally get out of this house!”

But that didn’t happen. Moving never came and our starter house still remains our current house twelve years later. And ya know what? I am finally realizing it’s everything I ever wanted….

Even as I type this, I’m crying. Not over the fact that we are still here in this old house. But over the fact that my selfish, resentful heart ever thought I needed more. I think it’s AMAZING to dream and I think God wants us to dream. As a parent I love to see my kids dream about their future. But I also think there is a time to just be. Just be content in what we have. In ALL we have been given big or small! To look around and see we are RICH in life. I am rich in the fact that I have a safe place to lay my head each night. That I’m tripping over piles of toys. That I am loved by so many! (even though I often get out touched some days)

Why, oh why did it take me so many years to realize this “starter house” IS my dream house? It’s my dream house because my dreams of being a mama started here. My dreams of building a life with the man I love started here. My dreams of laughing till I pee over my crazy kids or hilarious husband started HERE. Had we moved years ago, we wouldn’t have been able to go on random day trips, or had the money for family vacations making memories. We would’ve missed out on watching movies while the four of us squeezed on our couch seat. ONE seat. Or having picnics in the living room because we don’t have room for a kitchen table.  We would’ve been so stressed over making a bigger mortgage payment or I might have missed out on being a stay at home mommy because I would’ve had to go back to work.

That’s not to say if you do those things that’s not right for you. What I am saying is that I was so busy worrying about “when we get to move” that I missed the fact that we are right where God want us us to be at this very moment for this very reason. Status doesn’t matter. The fact that we are 35 years old (well I’m not there yet 😉) and still in our starter house doesn’t matter. I am not going to all of a sudden have all my dreams align because the house we live in looks like I had always pictured. What I am realizing is I am thankful for this small space. Thankful for the memories. Thankful for the blessings. Even thankful for our run down garage door that could use a little TLC. OK  A LOT of TLC!

I read this the other day and it really hit home (no pun intended).

“A resentful, hardened heart cannot say ‘thank you’ , because it only looks at what it does not have. “

I don’t want to become resentful or callused to all I have been given. I want to teach my kids true gratitude. I want to look at what I have and be overflowing with thankfulness! Even in the hard times. Even when God’s timing is not my timing.

Of course I have desires and dreams for a dream kitchen to do all the baking, but I have a new mindset. A mindset that what I have is more than enough. A new day, breath in my lungs, a sweet family, my husband’s job, whatever for that moment. Authentic gratitude for my dream house and my dream life!